I’m ashamed to say I have not put pen to paper for so long. The last time I wrote, we were at the place of still waters living between the tent and the truck.
The tent offered little protection from the cold or the wind and sometimes I found it difficult to sleep. In the end I had enough. In desperation I asked a family member for a loan to build a small cabin on a trailer and we practically built it in a week. Then we moved in. My back ached for days after we finished. We didn’t have any insulation so it was a wee bit cold but less than the tent.In frustration I said to the lord one morning, can’t you just send someone over to give us some money to finish it? A couple of days later a lady turned up and handed us an envelope. She said this is just between god and us. Then she left. It was $500. More than enough to insulate the cabin and then some.The biggest dilemma I have is why does God do the miraculous over some things and nothing on other things that I think are just as important? I have to admit it has made me question my faith a bit. Not wether God is real but in the fact that just because I believe God can do something it doesn’t mean he will and I’m left with the intolerable thought that he does what ever he pleases.
In fact I even told him one day I was considering getting a new God. One who was more agreeable. Alas but then it wouldn’t really be God. Now when we drive over the bridge into oxford I notice that some people in the reserve park are still enduring the tent Life. There is something about living in a tent that always makes me feel grounded. If I had to put my finger on the exact thing I would have to say it was void of any pretence about ones situation in life and ones place in the world. I feel for them but know there isn’t anything I can do for their situation.
we have been in Oxford now for 5 months and although there have been many people offer insight into what they felt was Gods will for us it was always the same that we were supposed to stay here, In this paddock. I’ve stopped crying out in desperation on behalf of the kids who really want a home and I’ve let go of the pride a man should have in that he can provide for his families needs. All I can do is except that this is what we have for now.
